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Mylime savo šalį. Tai kodėl ją paliekame?

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Norvegijos lietuvių bendrijos pirmininkė Daina Bogdanienė piktinasi Norvegijos žiniasklaida (dienraštis „Dagbladet“ rašo apie nusikaltėlius iš Lietuvos), jos supratimu, už lietuvių mažumos Norvegijoje menkinimą. Laiške Norvegijos žiniasklaidai ji rašo: „Lietuva vis dar tebėra neturtinga šalis, mes sutinkame, kad reikia dar daug padaryti, siekiant pasiekti tą patį lygį kaip kitose Vakarų Europos šalyse. Tačiau mes mylime savo šalį ir mums skaudu, jog mūsų tauta nuolat negatyviai aptariama žiniasklaidoje.“

Nekalbėsiu apie faktą, jog Šiaurės šalių kalėjimuose bausmes atlieka jau virš tūkstančio Lietuvos piliečių. Kad jų žiaurumas pritrenkia vietinius. Tai kita tema. Tiesiog nuteikė pamąstymui kalba apie meilę Lietuvai: jeigu mylime savą šalį, tad kodėl ją paliekame savo noru – visam laikui?

Paliekame, kad statytume gerovės valstybę kitoje šalyje. Kodėl ne Lietuvoje prisidėti savo darbu prie bendro gėrio, atviros visuomenės kūrimo? Žinau, mano žodžiai žeis vieno ar kito išeivio savigarbą. Bet, pasitraukus iš savo šalies, metus ją sunkumo akimirką, ar apie meilę savo šaliai galima įtikinančiai kalbėti? Juk niekas iš šalies nevarė, išvažiuota savo noru į gerovės valstybę „ant visko gatavo“, be jokių pastangų. Tai jos gerovė yra statoma, ne Lietuvos. Tos, kurią sakome mylintys.

Sovietų diktatūros laikais už antisovietinę veiklą, po kalėjimo, psichinės ligoninės, buvau priverstas palikti savo šalį, kaip ir pokarinė išeivių banga, dažniausiai inteligentija. Buvome fiziškai priversti. Tačiau, kas privertė, su kokiu botagu, kokia jėga išvarė piliečius iš savo namų šiandien? Ar Lietuvoje kilo maras ir badas?

Ar į gatves neįmanoma iš baimės būti papjautam, apiplėštam, išeiti? Juk šito „gero“ netrūksta ir Norvegijoje ar bet kur kitur, ar ne taip? Galime pateikti milijoną argumentų prieš gyvenimo kokybę ir ekonomines sąlygas Lietuvoje ir visi jie bus teisingi. Išskyrus vieną: čia nieko negalėjau padaryti. Netiesa. Galėjome. Galime. Turime.

Pastebėjau tokią nemalonią tendenciją: kai kurie išeiviai jaučia malonumą piktintis svečia šalimi, ta šalimi, ją priglobusią. Gyvenau Švedijoje trisdešimt metų. Ne kartą girdėjau pareiškimus „kokie tie švedai kvaili, nes viskuo ir visais pasitiki, juos taip lengva apgauti“. Kai kurie piktinasi tapę antrarūšiais piliečiais, nes „į juos žiūrima, kaip į afrikiečius“.

Tada jau pats laikas kovoti už savo teises, prieš diskriminaciją. Juk ji tikrai yra ir Norvegijoje, ir Švedijoje, ir Anglijoje. Tai paaiškinkite man, nesusipratėliui, kuriam galui palikti savo šalį, kai svečioje šalyje tave laiko trečiarūšiu žmogumi?

Arba kita tendencija: neapykanta Lietuvai, savo Tėvynei. Juk kažkaip reikia pateisinti savo nesugebėjimą kurti savo gerbūvį sunkiomis sąlygomis. „Kiti kalti“ skamba geriau. Todėl bet kokia nelaime žavimasi, džiaugiamasi. Pavyzdžiui, teigiama: „Nėra teisybės Lietuvoje, todėl balsuosime už kvazi „politinę nepolitinę“ partiją, nors puikiai žinoma, kad ta kvazi partija iki kelių subridusi į dviejų nekaltų nužudytų žmonių kraują.

Tai gal pats laikas grįžti namo ir čia pradėti kovoti prieš korupciją, diskriminaciją, ksenofobiją, prieš žmones žeminančius kai kuriuos biurokratus? Iš meilės Lietuvai. Dar keletas metų ir, žiūrėk, taps ta mūsų Lietuva „tokia pati, kaip Norvegija“. Na, gal nelabai. Tos naftos ir lašišų mes kaip ir nerandame.

Pats su šeima grįžau namo prieš 10 metų. Dalinuosi tuo pačiu gyvenimu, ta pačia kasdienybe su kitais piliečiais. Nesu joks turtuolis, bet vaikai lanko mokyklas, aprengti ir sotūs. Kaip ir Vakaruose išeiviai, esame paėmę paskolą banke. Dirbame savo darbus. Niekam nesilenkiame ir kyšių niekam nemokam.

Tiesiog noriu čia, Lietuvoje, prisidėti prie bendro gėrio kūrimo. Neketinu stovėti šalia. Ar tikrai įmanoma nuoširdžiai mylėti savo šalį, iš kurios pasitraukei niekieno nevaromas? Juk lengviau kaltinti visus ir visą, o ne patį save dėl nesugebėjimo susikurti savo gyvenimą savo nuosavoje šalyje.

Sakoma: „Mums čia nėra jokių šansų, todėl – dingstam iš čia“. Ar kas gali man pasakyti, kiek iš visų savo noru palikusių Lietuvą tapo turtuoliais? Tapo vidurine klase ir joje pritapo? Tapo garsenybėmis? Dauguma kitiems lenkia nugaras ir niekuomet netaps tuo, kuo jie įsivaizdavo.

Tai kur ta gyvenimo kokybė? Kas ta laimė svetimoje šalyje? Laimė, kurios negalėsi niekaip pasidalinti su tėvynainiais Tėvynėje? Na, siunčiami pinigai saviškiams, pasakysite. Bendra suma išties įspūdinga Lietuvos sąlygomis. Bet likę čia būtume į bendrą iždą sunešę dešimteriopai daugiau.

Suprantu skausmą, nostalgiją, svetimumo jausmą, nes pats buvau emigrantas. Todėl neatsiprašinėsiu, jei ką užgavau. Mylite Lietuvą? Tai eikite ir balsuokite spalio 14 dieną. Neleiskite iš niekuo nepagrįsto pykčio „ant Lietuvos“ balsuoti už aferistus, politinius telefoninius sukčius. Juk sakome, kad mylime Lietuvą. Bent kas ketverius metus tai ir reikėtų įrodyti.

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